Justification For Church Stupidity

First of all I mean this in the most loving Christian way possible...believe it or not.

One of my biggest revalations of my adult life is that people are stupid. I being a 'people' am not immune to it either but I find that regarding church that people are stupid. They go brain dead on biblical subjects. Similar things in the world are easy to figure out but take that same subject or example regarding the church and peoples brains just melt into orange goo. I'm getting sick of hearing that churches want to change all the time. They'll offend 100 members so they can reach a goal of 100 new members...because that makes sense. 20 of those offended people will never go back to church and will burn in hell due to the brillance of 'forward thinking...culturally changing elders and deacons' in the church. The announcements on 'let's change the church today' should read like this:

Church, welcome. What a beautiful Sunday it is to worship God. We have a few announcements. Over the past year the elders and preacher...mostly the preacher have decided that we need to change our worship services. We know this will come as a shock to some of you but we've discussed it and decided that it's OK if you leave and never come back. It's a shame that you grew up at this church just to find out in your teens or later years that you'd have to leave. I know some of you will be so discouraged by this change from the eldership you've come to trust and love that you will never return to church or trust anyone ever again and will ultimately burn in hell for eternity. We've rationalized this and decided that on judgement day God will not bring this up and make us accountable for your souls or the church we just split. After all, clapping hands and instruments and other new additions are way more biblical than keeping the church pure and it's members active and faithful and a few souls lost won't matter. In case you are wondering if all the elders agree on this change then let me reassure you that all those who didn't have been pushed out of the eldership through carefully calcualted rumors and unchristianlike comments and pressure. Starting next Sunday we will have our new worship services so that we will look a lot like the church down the street and we believe this will bring more people into our services because looking like the church they are already attending we'll make them want to come here instead...cause that just makes sense that they'd switch for something that has no additional benifit, is not more biblical and is a room full of 600 strangers...I mean...what a deal. When they ask why we've made the change we'll say, "For you of course. Please take sit here where brother Smith used to sit untill we ran him off. I don't know what his status in the church is these days. I'm just an elder in his church, what duty is it of mine to watch after his soul...I ran him off so now that's someone elses job." It should be also noted, church, that in a few years the changes we have instituted today will grow old and boring due to our lack of realizing that what keeps people in church is their heart and not catering to their ADD problems. You should also note that if it again comes down to the peaceful love and respect we hold dear in our church that we elders will sacrifice it and ship you out just the same. So member new and old, welcome. Who knows what the future holds or where we get this crazy stuff we've come up with. Just know this, out with the old and in with the new. If that means you need to leave then pack it up. God will be so pleased I've split this church for a littel external stimulation to keep it up beat. We'll show up to judgement with 50 saved and 50 damned. That should break us even. I'm glad we've spent the last year rationalizing this because it sure was hard but like usual, we managed to fool ourselves and ignore the overal theme of the bible " Christ loves the church ".

Don't cause trouble in your church but stand up when people do. God loves the church and died for it. Encourage one another and be aware of how you are a stumbling block to others. On judgement we'll bring souls with us to heaven instead of casting souls into hell. If you don't like your church then leave. There's a church for every flavor these days. Sad but true. Don't touch my church or like Paul I'll confront you in the temple and take care of it. I'm watching...listening to members in my church and making sure their attitudes don't shift away from the pure gospel and love for the church. I suggest you fight for yours as well.

Goodnight all my good Christian friends. You're my life and we'll fight together for the purity of the church.